Some Crazy Guy Claimed the World is Flat Today at the World Economic Forum

Apparently, some people simply don’t believe what is obvious and clear to everyone else. Clearly, the world is not flat, and dedicating effort to live in a flat world is wasted effort. However, there was some crazy guy (some may call him a ‘radical’), who gave a keynote address to the World Economic Forum about how the world is flat earlier today.

But he didn’t going to just make this claim, and let it be at that. Oh, no. He gave a lecture on how he is coming up with solutions to living in a flat world and try to show everyone how great his own county is doing, living in this flat world. He told everyone else that they are fools for even considering that the world might not be flat, and that all we need to do live within the restrictions of a flat world and all will be fine.

For example, he is declaring that his own country is heavily involved in researching anti-gravity boots that will allow us to walk on the underside of the planet. He is also proposing putting up barriers at the edge of the world so that people don’t fall off accidently.

Even the head of the World Economic Forum, a strong believer in a flat world for his entire life, has declared that maybe, just maybe, the world isn’t flat and we should look at solutions to live in a round world.

Of course, the World Economic Forum isn’t going to be discussing if the world is flat or round – we all know that. They are going to be discussing the fact that free market capitalism doesn’t work – of course, we also all know that. Founder and president, Klaus Schwab set the tone by declaring that the move to the free market hasn’t worked as it was supposed to and declared that “A global transformation is urgently needed.”

The crazy guy isn’t just some random person; it is the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper. And although he isn’t proposing solutions to live in a flat world, he is proposing solutions to living in a world that where free market capitalism works for everyone – which is every bit as untrue as declaring the world is flat. Coming on the heels of his governments declaration that environmentalists concerned about new oil pipeline’s are ‘radicals’, I’m sensing a trend that this is a man who refuses to accept the world we are living in and would rather live in some fantasy world where pollution, poverty and inequality don’t exist.

Rather than finding solutions to live in some fantasy world, we need to find solutions to the real world – one where pollution, poverty and inequality do exists and one where we need to do something to solve them.

Conservatives and Other Radicals are Ruining my Country

As the debate over the proposed Northern Gateway  pipeline heats up, Stephen Harper and members of his Conservative government are claiming that ‘radical groups’, such as environmentalists, are trying to extend the public consultation. We must see this aggressive rhetoric for what it is - nothing more than an unashamed attempt to fire up the conservative core against ‘evil’ environmentalists.

In an open letter earlier today Canada’s natural resources minister Joe Oliver referred to environmental groups as ‘radical groups’, when referring to the public consultation phase of the Enbridge pipeline approval process. Seriously, all environmental groups are radicals? What is this guy on? Going even further, Harper himself claimed that foreign money was behind the plot to hold up construction of a new pipeline. When did he become so concerned over foreign interests in oil, considering most of the money from the tar sands flows right out of the country? Then I started thinking about it. It makes complete sense for a Harperite to refer to environmental groups as radical.

One might assume, from the rhetoric coming from the Harper camp, that these ‘radicals’ are threatening to disrupt a potential pipeline, or those who are building it. At the very least, one must assume that they are protesters disrupting the consultation process. No, not at all. The ‘radicals’ are those who have signed up to speak at the public consultation on the project. That’s it. Although there may be a few who want to push a specific agenda unrelated to this specific pipeline, the vast majority are local people with local concerns. Concerns such as the devastation that would be caused by a pipeline leak or oil tanker spill in one of the most pristine natural environments left in the world.

Is it really radical to be concerned with issues like climate change (especially after the train wreck that was the DuranClimate Change deal)? Is it really radical to be concerned about oil spills in your own backyard, oil spills that can affect the quality of life’s essentials, such as cleanwater, as the speakers at the public consultation are? That is not radical. Radical is to think that changing the climate is okay, so long as we don’t have to change the way we live. Radical is thinking that corporate profits are more important than local interests. Radical is thinking that we need oil more than we need water. Humanity survived, even thrived, for tens of thousands of years without oil, but wouldn’t last a week without fresh water. 

The environmentalist groups aren’t the radicals. Stephen Harper and his group of cronies are the ones who believe it is okay to put profits before people, put oil before water and trade short-term gain (but not for you or I) for long-term pain.

But let’s not kid ourselves. This isn’t about the environment or the tar sands or even about jobs and the economy. It’s about getting re-elected and it’s about ideology. Harper knows that most of the people speaking out against the pipeline won’t support him anyway, so he will fight them and insult them to fire up his core supporters, the minority of the Canadian population who buy into Harper’s crooked Conservative ideology and really believe that this public consultation (remember, this is over a public consultation!) is some kind of battle between capitalism and socialism. That minority is able to give him the support and money (mostly the money) to get re-elected. So all Harper is really only concerned about is making sure environmentalists are seen as some kind of threat (even better when it is a foreign threat) to ‘our way of life’.

So I put the questions to you, who are the radicals: the environmental groups and concerned local citizens or the Conservatives?

A Typical Cabinet Meeting in the Harper Government

Ever wondered what a cabinet meeting in Stephan Harper’s government is like? I think it would go something like this:

As Stephan Harper walks into the cabinet meeting room, his smile turns to a scowl. He surveys each of his ministers in turn, giving them each the briefest of scowls, before turning his attention to the head of the table, where a mountain of file sits before an enormous throne. Walking down one side of the table, passing half of the ministers (seated on small stools, with not so much as a scrap of paper on the desk before them), Harper slowly makes his way to his seat of power and sits down. Every minister looks at him expectantly, to see which file he picks up from the pile first.

“Hmmm, let’s see,” Harper muses, “Let’s start with the Ministry of Defense.” Peter MacKay sits straight up and folds his hands on the empty table in front of him. Harper takes a long time reviewing the file he selected. “I think we will press ahead with the plan to buy the F-35 fighter jets, despite the fact that the Americans seem to be having doubts and despite the soaring costs. Peter 1 , what do you think?”

Peter MacKay clears his throat, and says, “Sir, Of course I’m in favour of giving the Canadian military the tools it needs, but can I see the file, before I make up my mind? It sounds like there might be some reason to give it a second thought…” He trails off as Harper glares at him.

“Peter 1, do you want to sit here and argue with me, or do you want to go for a helicopter ride?” MacKay perks up and gets a glint in his eye. “That’s right, there is a private jet waiting outside, to take to you an air force base where a helicopter will take you on a fishing trip. Doesn’t that sound like more fun than sitting through this meeting?” MacKay bobs his head, “Maybe try fishing out of the helicopter itself, that should be fun. They might not want to do it, because it isn’t safe, but I’ll have your office call them and make them do it anyway. Off you go.” MacKay lets out a squeal of delight and runs out of the meeting room.

“Okay, what’s next?” Harper considers his files, “Let’s get the environment out of the way. Peter 2? Peter 2!”

Peter Kent wakes up from a slumber with a shocked, “Who? Me?” He is surprised to be called upon.

“Of course you, do you know another Peter 2?” Harper asks with a chuckle. Half a second later, all the other ministers gave a chuckle as well. “You’re off to Durban this afternoon, right?”

“Yes, your highness, I am. My jet is waiting outside.”

“Actually, Peter 1 took it fishing. I want you to charter another plane. And, Peter 2, I want you to get the most polluting thing you can find, do you understand? I want a cloud of black smoke behind it a mile long. I want to make sure that those greenies at that conference know that we aren’t joking around - we‘re into polluting and we’re into polluting big and nothing and nobody is going to stop us.”

“Yes, your highness!” Peter Kent leaves with cabinet room.

As he is leaving, a messenger comes in with a file. “Urgent notice regarding Attawapiskat First Nation for Aboriginal Affairs.” John Duncan, Minister for Aboriginal Affairs, rises to accept the file, but is cut off by Harper.

“I’ll take that, thanks.” Harper contemplates the file for a long time. “Hmmm, seems there is a crisis in Attawapiskat. John, I’m going to allocate $10 million dollars for you to solve this problem. With that money, I want you to hire the best consultants and accountants that you can to write a report on what has happened and recommendations to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“I’ll get right on it, your worshipfulness .”  Duncan replies, and gets up to leave.

“And John,” Harper stops him, “I want you to make it perfectly clear to these people that the reason for this crisis is entirely to do with internal issues at Attawapiskat First Nation and their report better reflect that. I don’t want to spend $10 million and end up with a report with surprises in it - that would be a waste of taxpayer money.” With a bow, Duncan leaves.

Harper checks the clock. “I have a meeting with my hair stylist that I can’t miss - he is the most sought out stylist in Ottawa.” Harper looks at the mountain of untouched documents, “We didn’t even get through half of the files! It takes so long when I have to explain everything to you idiots. I expect you to all stay here all night working.” Harper summons several couriers, “Remove all these files, the information is much too important for any of these people to see it.” Harper then puts on a sweater-vest, picks up a cup of Tim Horton’s coffee and strides out of the office, leaving a roomful of Ministers twiddling their thumbs at an otherwise empty table.